Read "The Lion Who Flinched" by Jed Selter Chapter 6
Spirit of the Lion – Lesson Three We Must Contribute for the Benefit of All and Not Compete Among Ourselves. Internal Competition Is Destructive
Competing among ourselves can be unconscious, and it can be insidious. It destroys the environment we need to work together for our common purpose. When we compete, we are choosing to not support each other. Someone will “win” and someone will “lose.” In truth, we will all lose because we will fail to see the unique value that each of us can contribute to satisfy our common needs and to reach our group’s common goals. Internal competition breeds mistrust and suspicion of others where trust and positive, appreciative, and respectful relationships are needed. Relying on or allowing internal competition to be the foundation to reach positive ends is inconsistent and will not work. We cannot use a negative means and expect to have positive outcomes.
Think about an individual with whom you are competing, either someone in your professional life, a peer, someone who reports to you or someone to whom you report, or in your personal life, such as with your spouse, a parent, or a sibling.
• Validate that you feel competition with this person by identifying and writing down the characteristics of your interaction. (e.g., mistrust, suspicion, withholding of information, argumentativeness, stress). • Write down your view of the basis for feeling competitive with this person. (Was it something this person did or said? Was it something you did? How long ago?) • If you are precipitating the competition, what are you doing? Or what did you do? How does/did this person react to what you do/did? • If it is your view that the other person is precipitating this competitiveness, what is he/she doing, and how do you react to it? • Think about and write down what negative impacts and implications this competitive relationship has for you and for the group of which you and this other person are members. • In your observations, how does this competition affect you? • How does this competition affect the other members of the group? • What could you do to reduce the competitiveness of this relationship? How would you approach and discuss this with the other person?